End of Brooke Love

Well, this seals the deal. In this post he says, "Brooke you look beautiful today." and it was posted yesterday.
http://chicago.craigslist.org/mis/144474142.html

Yesterday I woke up with a giant handprint on my face. I actually sleep on my hands, the way children do in movies, though FAR less anjelically...and if I stay in one position the handprint is deep and detailed along the side of my face. You can see where each knuckle is, where my ring is...everything. It takes the handprint about twenty minutes to dissapear completely, sometimes longer. There have definetely been times where I've been forced out into public with the handprint still on my face.
I also went to sleep with a ponytail...so when I woke up I looked like I had been licked on one side of my face by a dinosaur. All the hair was on one side, I even had a side-pony that reminded me of elementary school in the 80's. Those were the days.
I had a new zit. Great, it grew right next door to where the old one had just dissapeared. I always seem to have at least one zit at all times.
I was in a t-shirt that had gotten totally twisted, pajama pants where the drawstring was unstrung causing them to droop, and i realized that my overgrown toenails sported only dabs of polish here and there, the rest had chipped off.
Looking good!
Kris called for lunch, so I decided to take a shower tutsuite, but of course...no hot water. they were working on the pipes in my building. When I finally won the battle between my fingers and the rubber band in my hair and was able to release my ponytail, it didn't exactley release.
Here is where I would like to interject two things that are false in Hollywood movies.
1) When they show a girl hooking her finger into the rubber band in her hair and effortlessly pulling it down to release her hair...not true. Those things suck. A lot of times they get stuck and almost always take a small clump of hair with them. Unless of course they are a fabric scrunchie...but please, don't insult me.
2) In movies after the girl pulls out the rubber band she shakes her head and her beautiful mane flows all around...sometimes. But usually, if you've just woken up...and you havn't showered yet...it pretty much stays in a ponytail and then eventually parts and makes wings on the sides of your face.
That was me yesterday morning, let's review:
handprint
side-pony not being held together by any rubberband
hot jammies
Right. Now, when I realized I had no water I improvised by quickly spashing cold water on my face and putting freezing cold water on a washcloth for a sort of impromptu spongebath. It wasn't going so well, and I had to meet Kris...so I just threw the hair back up in a pony, slathered on as much deo as possible and went on my way.
I was wearing some sort of combination of lime green polo, brown cords, blue sweater, dark green fingerless gloves, light blue pashmina and sneaks. And sunglasses. And tube socks. Which I think are Brannens.
We ate chinese food. When I got home I smelled like soy sauce. I looked for a job online for a while and then later in the evening I got a call from Jeremy that he wanted to take me to dinner. "The Diner or the Pizza Place?" he asked..."The Pizza place has darker lighting, let's go there." I responded. Whoa.
But maybe "beautiful" isn't based on how you look, but the things you do. Someone might look beautiful ice skating, or sewing, or riding a horse. So let me think....
I scraped some crusty noodles off a plate in my kitchen...then gave up and threw the plate away.
I pryed Lucy's mouth open to make sure she hadn't swallowed this little piece of plastic she was playing with. (She hadn't).
I pulled up clips from the final episode of Friends on Youtube.com which I had never seen and started to cry a little. (It's sad when they all put their keys on the counter.)
I started humming, which led to singing, which led to a full out rock concert for a few minutes.
So you see, if the mysterious missed connection guy really thought I looed beautiful yesterday, it brings me to two conclusions:
1) He's looking in my windows.
2) Not very high standards.

Stay tuned, I will have a guest blogger tomorrow who will regale you all with tales of his hilarious audition today for Project Runway 3.