A Star Is Born

Thank you to everyone who emailed and sent text messages and called and sent myspace comments and all the other nicies yesterday.

It went really well!

And I spent the whole entire day...literally...at work with an impromptu ice bag scotch taped to my face so luckily I didn't look like Quasi Moto anymore when I got on stage. I looked mostly normal...I think. Rader said if the swelling hadn't gone down I should have crawled on stage and cried out "My precious!" but luckily I didn't need to do any Gollum imitations.

I didn't trip, barf, burp into the mic, faint or have an asthma attack. I didn't cry, or talk with a wobble voice or have Barron Von ShakeyKnee. People laughed loud and hard and applauded a lot in the middle of my piece. I even improvised a little. I actually had a lot of fun. The other performers did a great job too and I thought the whole night was a big huge ball of success.

Two scoops of thanks to my super mega fans that came and saw me live. Of course by mega fans I mean my parents and my close friends. Heh heh.

OH! And my mother proceeded to tell everyone at the Green Mill afterwards that I was the best one. She also brought me flowers which was so sweet...although I think I lost them...and she also, unbeknownst to me, emailed the person in LA who created mortified...

And I've got the transcript. C'mon, alls fair in love and war.

Ladies and Gentlemen may I present to you...my mother:

I bought 4 tickets to Mortified Chicago for tonight (Mar 28)ages ago but I can't find a confirmation and am too old to remember if there ever was one and my daughter is performing! Help! Am I just an over anxious stage mother? Please calm my nerves and assure me all is well. Thanks!

Then the guy emails my mom back with confirmation of her tickets and hilariously writes, "Naturally, it is my deepest hope that such anxious qualities only produced a fantastic amount of neuroses in your daughter's teenage journals. Perhaps if you have any saved poetry or something, we can have you follow in your daughter's footsteps one night in our show, too."

No friends, it doesn't stop there...Fabu-Mommy sends one more...(reminder that this is 2:00pm)

Thanks. I just got back from drinking margaritas with Brooke's brother, who is in town for the event tonight, so I feel much better. Brooke assured me all was well, but you know moms. Unfortunately, I always found diaries boring, and I can barely stand to read poetry, let alone write it. Had there been computers, however, in the 50s, I would have rocked.
Actually, I'm saving my writing days for retirement, whenever that comes.

I love my mom telling a total strager all about how much less neurotic she feels now that she's kicked back a few 'ritas with her firstborn. These are the types of things mom always does that when I was thirteen I wanted to tear my face off and always walked ten feet behind her at the mall. But now, I just absolutely love it. My mom is singlehandedly one of the funniest damn people I've ever met and half the time she has no idea. Like today as Tate and I waited on the corner downtown.

Me: "Where's Mom?"
Tate: "Oh, you don't see her?"
Me: "No...oh"
Tate: "Yeah, she's the one frantically waving her arms in the air and yelling something over there."
Me: "Ah yes...so she is"

What mom was trying to convey to us from half a block away was, "POTBELLY'S IS TOO CROWDED! WE'RE GOING TO COSI! DON'T CROSS THE STREET! I'M COMING TO YOU!"

God, I didn't mean for this blog to be about all the things my mom has done to embarass me, but I'm laughing so hard now. She's always had this habit of yelling to you if you're not standing right next to her...in junior high...in malls...here are three different times I pretended to not be related to the woman yelling from across the store...

"Brookie! Do you think it's time for you to get a bra?"
"Brookie! How's your flow? Tell me if you need another tampon!"
"Brookie! We need to leave! I really need to use the bathroom!"

God, isn't it so funny how the more embarassing something is at the time, the damned funnier it is later? I love it.

Ok, thanks again to everyone for all your love and support and good wishes yesterday! And good news for you...someone somewhere was videotaping the whole thing...and somehow I will get a copy of it...so...that's all I will say for now. X's and O's.

Oh! And my acting days arn't over quite yet. My friend made a little movie that I'm the star of and Jeremy Owens plays my hairstylist. i haven't seen it yet though so I'm not going to say anything more.