Brooke Eats a Walleye and Likes the Name Magnolia

I ate a fish. A walleye. I know that this was supposed to be a big event with lots of invited people there to gawk at me in disbelief...but I decided at the last minute to change that and ate my first fish with birthfather Jim instead for these main reasons...

1) I'm used to birthfamily gawking at me in disbelief.
2) I was hungry.
3) We also had crab cakes (that's not a reason, I just wanted to throw that in)
4) You know, bonding with your fam, they like that kinda stuff.
5) Ok, I like that kinda stuff too.
6) He knows a lot about fancy food so I knew I wouldn't get a dud.
7) He donated a lot more than you did to the Y-ME:Eat a Fish cause
8) He was paying.

The good news is...there are photographs. The bad news is...although a very talented man in many ways...Jim is no Ansel Adams. I think these are the worst pictures of me in the history of the world. I look like a drunk chubby blind Punky Brewster. However, because of our arrangement and all the great money you guys donated to Breast Cancer....you know what I mean, not TO Breast Cancer...FOR Breast Cancer...in memory of Breast Cancer....whatever, you know what I mean....because I made a deal with you...ladies and gentleman I give you...

Brooke Eats A Walleye (After slamming half a bottle of chardonnay and stuffing herself full of crab cakes and chickenless quesedillas)


OH JOY! OH RAPTURE! A WALLEYE PIKE HAS ARRIVED!








MMM, ASPARAGUSES (ASPARAGI?) POTATOES, CURRY SAUCE, VEGGIES...AND WAIT A MINUTE...WHO'S THAT HIDING IN THE MIDDLE THERE? IT'S A WALLEYE!!









OH MY GOD! (OMG) THE WALLEYE HAS GONE MISSING! NO...IT'S BEEN EATEN! BY ME! WHAT?! LOOKS LIKE THE ASPARAGI ARE STILL SAFE...BUT NOT FOR LONG. (I'm kind of a "one thing at a time" eater)






Did I like the fish? Yes.

Did I love the fish? A little.

Come on, did I love the fish? A lot.

What restaurant provided the fish? Magnolia on Broadway, near Truman College in Uptown...a surprisingly nice place. I'd always seen it but never been there as I don't generally frequent the Wilson/Broadway/Where-the-homeless-lady-with-no-pants-lives area. The restaurant kicks ass, really friendly people and good food without being snooty. Go there! Or better yet, take me back there! Hint Hint Wink Wink.

Ever since then have I been thinking that the name Magnolia would be really cute for a (way way) future pet or baby: Yes

Did I then remember that my stepmom has a pet mouse named Magnolia so decided maybe it wouldn't be a great name for a human but still ok for a pet: Yes

Do I think it's funny when I say things to people like "What do you think of the name Magnolia?" and they say "It would be cute for a pet.": Not really

Back to the fish, thank you again for all your generous donations. And thank you for pretending to really care whether or not I ate a damn fish. Indulging ego is what friends are truly for. Actually, indulging ego is what blogs are for...friends are for making fun of you in the comments section...so have at it bitches.

The End

Credits:

Walleye Eater................Brooke Allen
Photographer................Birthfather Jim
Waitress........................Nice girl who said "I'm proud of you and glad you liked the fish!" when I was done.
Walleye that died for my dining and blog pleasure..........Wally the Walleye
Person that will give me the most shit for this.......Coutley "Have a heart Brooke, afterall...a fish does" I know I know. But I remember a day when Coutley could throw back burgers at George Webbs Diner like there was no tomorrow. Plus I spared some of the asparagi. And how do we know flowers don't scream when we pick them Coutley? HOW DO WE KNOW! No, I'm just kidding. I'm just off eating farm animals and kittens for now...please refer to earlier ranting blog regarding my personal choices for what I want to eat.

Magnolia. It's cute I think. (*Exclusive to Trixie* So Trixie...this is me officially calling dibs on that name...along with the other name which we discussed already. And the veil. And much of the china. But your team Traylor still gets the other name...and the silver...and Yaakov...and that one grody Christmas stocking that looks like Santa yarfled his egg nog into and then let Rudolph chew on for a while which mom will NOT get rid of cause she says it's an "heirloom" even though we keep telling her that just because something is OLD does not make it an heirloom. Even Stepdaddy Jim tries to sneak it off the mantle each year cause he says it is hideous...which it is...I mean, it's covered in rusty jingle bells that don't jingle so much as clunk and there is some awful like...gravy stain on it....Tate and I used to have a field day with that thing...so come to think of it...I'm gonna actually call dibs on that as well. Don't worry, when you get married I'm sure we have an old...I mean an HEIRLOOM swiffer wet jet or something that you guys will inherit. Just kidding Trixibelle, I adore you xoxo)

ANYWAY! In conclusion: I love crabcakes and walleye and I think salmon is just ok and I do not like fried calamari that much. (Oh...yeah, these pictures happened a while ago...sorry...I've eaten more fish since.)