Little Brother

I have two older sisters, two little sisters, two older brothers, three dad-types, three mom-types, many cousins and aunts and uncles, in my life I've had over 16 grandparents. But I only have 1 little brother.
I wanted a kid sister so much when I was little, so when I found out my stepmom was having a baby I was out of this world excited. Even though it turned out to be a brother instead of a sister, I considered him mine nonetheless.
Craigen used to get scared in the middle of the night when he was little and come with all of his blankets and stuffed animals and sleep on my bedroom floor. "Bwooke, I'm sweeping hewe cause I was sceered."
When he got older we used to walk down to the ice cream shoppe (I'm from a town where shops are spelled "shoppe") called R.J & Ethel Mays and pig out together.
He used to look at the Searat painting that hung over my bed as a kid (Sunday on the Island...) and say, "What are all those ladies wearing butt-biggers?"
He was spoiled rotten as a kid, but none of us older kids really cared...he had a funny sense of humor about everything. Once for Christmas he asked for a toaster. It was the only thing he really wanted. And when he got it he deserted his other presents, grabbed a loaf of bread and shut himself in his room all day. We kept hearing exclamations like, "Wow!" and "Cool" and every few minutes he would appear and bring us all toast...all day.
Everyone in my family is a weirdo, though I suppose everyone in every family is a weirdo. Craigen was always so damn funny that you could never get mad at him for anything. And not that you needed to, he's always been sincerely polite and caring.
He's sort of like a Buddhist, always calm and peaceful. Only has what he really needs and never gossips or concerns himself with things that don't matter. He's been like this his whole life and it's never ceased to impress me.
The past few years have been unfairly difficult for him. Our dad died when he was only sixteen, then a carload of his friends were in a terrible and fatal accident only months later. He made some bad choices and paid for it, but he has gotten the help he needs and that's why I'm here visiting him this week.
In a lot of ways the good old Craigen is back, he's been cracking us up and telling us stories about the time he was away. He bought me a little embroidered pillow today that says "I smile because you are my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it." Which pretty much sums up his personality. But Craigen is also very changed in a positive way. He is so acutely aware of what is important and what is irrelevant. He is so responsible for himself and caring not only for people, but for his personal things and himself. He is so observant and attentive. Today I floppeed down on the bed and said, "Ok, want to know everyone's birthdays?" and helped guide him through our complicated family a little. It sounds trivial maybe, but it was actually very huge.
He also looks different, he always had a sweet little baby face, but now he looks and acts just like my dad. It's so startling to look at him sometimes and be able to see my dad again--just here and there. Startling, but somehow very reassuring.
He's seven years younger than me but we've passed into that place all siblings eventually do where you begin to understand each other as people...as individuals rather than just two peas from the same pod. It was rough when I was first becoming an adult and abandoned him as the last "little kid", but now he's joined us all and I think will teach us all a little something about what being a grown up really means.
Anyway, sorry for the mush, I'm just so proud of him and inspired by him that I had to gush to all of you a little.
(Even though I did still try to trip him on the way into the restaurant today and I still call him Squirt and I did try to trick him into thinking that his birthday is next week which it isn't. But what can you do? I've been his big sister his entire life, mature or not we're never going to stop teasing each other. He got me back today though when he smiled and said, "So, sounds like you are doing well. You have a cat and you like to knit...that's really...cool.")
Here's the main thing...even if you have nothing to talk about with your sibling and you feel like two really different people, being a sister or a brother is it's own special thing. It's not the same as being a daughter or a friend or anything else. Especailly being an older sibling, sometimes you have to just keep your mouth shut and realize that the younger one will eventually come around. But no matter how different or similar you are, no matter if you talk once a month or once a year...it's incredibly comforting to have this, in my case, group of people who were all there throughout your life. People who were raised by the same people and have the same memories as you. The only people in the world who love your parents as much as you do.
I never thought twice about my siblings as a kid, but I think about them all every day now. Especially this kid...he's always made me feel deeply unselfish, which I think, simply, is how you know that you really love someone.