We Are So Lucky

I was in a Taxident on Friday. That is to say, a taxi accident.

I left work, walked down the street, went to the Gap to see what was new there (shockingly...nothing was new, they had the exact same striped cardigans and khaki pants that have been there since I was a kid.) I did find a sexy leather jacket on discount for $99 and I tried it on. When I looked at myself in the mirror I realized three things:


1. Winter is almost over, you don't need a leather coat.
2. You don't have an extra $99 budgeted for a coat.
3. You are wearing a big dead cow. For someone who has slowly been transitioning into only PETA approved lotions and cosmetics and reconsidering vegetarianism, a giant leather coat might not be a great move.

I put it back. It was a lapse in judgment, sadly you won't be seeing Brooke as "The Fonze" anytime soon, but if you want me to say "AaaaAAAy" and kick a juke box I'd be happy to.

(I know, I know, I shouldn't be shopping at the Gap in the first place, sweat shops and all that...but look, I'm not a saint...I can only do what I can do, ok?)

So, I bought some $10 pants and a $6 scarf (I really needed a new scarf, I only have 85 at home. Scarves are the new bracelets.) Then I bought a blue T-shirt for $9 and then I remembered that my hands were really cold when I went outside so I bought the funniest big red mittens for $5. They are (RED) mittens, you know, that thing where you buy something red and they give some money to AIDS. Don't know if that counts for sale stuff...

THE GAP: Here, here's $50
AIDS: Thanks man.
THE GAP: No problem, we sold a lot of red stuff this month.
AIDS: Cool.
THE GAP: It would be more except this one chick bought red mittens on clearance.
AIDS: Bitch.
THE GAP: Well listen, I have to get back to fold some denim...

(I definetely feel nervous posting a mini play between The Gap and AIDS, but I'm going to stand behind it...)

So then, I go to the street and get in a cab. I always think it's funny when you get in a cab. I mean, what is the real difference between getting a cab and just getting in a random strangers car? "110 E. Pearson, please" I say. I pull out my new AIDs mittens and remove the price tag.

As we get on Lake Shore Drive I consider what good time I'm making. I'm not great at making time work. So I make sure to praise myself thoroughly when everything goes according to plan. Of course, once I start doing that...the plan changes completely.

I heard a loud bang and then suddenly realized that we were no longer driving along the lake, but toward it. The tire blew. It's funny where the mind goes in these situations. For me I'm always reassured by how calm I stay during the crisis (afterward is a different story). I remember thinking, "Well now, this isn't right. Are we backwards? Are people honking at us?" We swerved across all the lanes of traffic without hitting or being hit...but as cars came rushing toward us the taxi driver panicked and swerved back across all the lanes of traffic. It was like a very frantic game of Frogger. My brain finally caught up, "Why is my body so tense? Why are we headed straight towards that guard rail? Oh...is this a car accident? Yes, I'm about to be in a car accident. Oh my, well, here we go...please don't die please don't die please don't die." I squished my body up tight and held my breath (apparently I thought we might also drown?) and managed to let only the tiniest "Squeeek" escape.

I didn't die.

The driver swerved again and we slid up next to the guardrail. In retrospect it was probably kind of a badass move. He stopped the car and we both just sat there a moment. Then slowly he turned around and looked at me. "Are you ok?" "Yes." "Are you ok?" "Yes." Then he exhaled and said, "We are so lucky. We are...so lucky."

The driver hobbled the taxi off of Lake Shore Drive, luckily we were near an exit. Another cab who had seen the whole thing came to my rescue. When I have told this story to my friends, before asking "Are you ok?" they all asked first, "Did you pay the taxi driver?" I remember being in a state of shock, the driver saying, "Now you will go in that other taxi" and me saying "Ok. Should I pay you?" and him saying "Yes. You should." Then I handed him some money, I think a ten, I have no idea what I owed although in retrospect I probably owed nothing since I was almost killed.

In the second cab I began to understand what had happened. "DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED?" I asked. "Yes, very scary. You are very lucky." He answered. I was still comprehending. "I COULD HAVE DIED." I said. "Yes, it was very scary." He said. Then I handed him some money, I think a ten. "We are not there yet ma'am." He said. "OH SORRY! YOU CAN HAVE THAT THOUGH." The driver pulled up to the restaurant and I got out of the car.

My mom entered the restaurant. No matter how old you get, it's always nice to see your mommy.

ME: Hi Mommy.
MOM: Hi Boo.
ME: Guess what?
MOM: What?
ME: I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND I'M SO LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!
MOM: WHAT!?
ME: Also, look at these cute mittens I got cheap at the Gap!

I had a delightful dinner with my family, though I was a little freaked out still, then I got in another cab and went home. To realize that I was locked out. In the cold. That's when I lost it just a little bit. However, the fates aligned and Daren happened to be stopping by the office so he was able to get my keys and drop them off to me, and the maintenance man happened to be around so he le me in out of the cold, and I didn't get cold sine I'd happened to buy a scarf and mittens earlier, and I happened to have these awesome petal shaped soaps inside so I was able to unwind in the tub after it all.

Sigh.

I am really lucky.