Grease. Is it the one YOU want?

There is a new reality show on TV called "Grease: You're the One That I Want". It's hosted by Billy Bush (yes, of the Bush clan) and Big Boobs McGillicuddy. They stand around backstage in a seacrest-ian way watching as hopeful young white kids audition for the oh so coveted roles of Danny and Sandy in Broadway's remounting of Grease. They see all types of people and claim this will be the Grease of a new millenium. Once everyone has auditioned, a panel of "famous" judges eliminates the fat girls and the black guys and sends all the little whities to a place called "Grease Academy" where they must sing, dance and act their way through more eliminations until they knock out all the other hopefuls and stand as the victorious Danny and Sandy. Then they will get a Broadway contract. Through all of this the ladies will be swarmily interviewed by Billy Bush who is slightly more creepy than charming and the men will be smiled and blinked at by Big Boobs McGillicuddy who does very little to differentite herself from the wide eyed Sandy hopefuls themselves. I keep expecting Boobs to get confused and run out on stage in a pair of tap shoes shouting "5 6 7 8...Dum dun du dum dum da!" One can dream.

I'm just wishing and praying that they want Sandy to have an australian accent and they bring in dialect coaches. But it occured to me that might have just been something they added in the movie for Newton-John...anyone know?

So, don't get me wrong, I'm totally hooked. And when people get eliminated they are told "Todd...you are...NOT the one that we want" which is priceless. And perhaps I teared up a little at the guy who was really nervous but was auditioning in honor of his dead brother who's dream it was to play Danny. Although, when that guy got cut he was pretty furious so that might have been for the best. Is Danny Zucco really that coveted a role? Everygay I know dreams of playing Seymor from Little Shop. But maybe that just speaks volumes about the people I'm friends with doesn't it?

I didn't see any of my friends at the Chicago auditions which was dissapointing. Although I guess I don't really know anyone who is a Danny/Sandy type. Although Erik brought up the point that this was basically just an audition on national TV, most of the people probably knew they wern't Sandy types they just wanted to be seen by other producers. Hence the large amount of chubby brunettes randomly belting out "Good Morning Baltimore".

My question is this. To me this is just another funny and stupid reality show. But lots of theatre-folk are up in arms about it. My friend Josh has been auditioning for various Broadway roles all year and these kids get to just walk in and take it. Another girl pointed out that it's robbing the art out of theatre and making it another television product for sale. I see that...but hasn't that already been happening? Broadway looks more like a Vegas strip mall these days and the focus on shininess and big dollars surpassed the focus on art a long time ago. I suppose I could see her point if this was like "Death of a Salesman" auditions. But, it's Grease. Which isn't to say that fun big musicals arn't art, but Grease has always been more famous as a movie than as a musical anyway. And...I mean...it's Grease. It's the number one performed musical in high schools aound the world. Of ll the shows in the American Cannon "Grease" is really the one we're most worried about protecting?

My concern with this show is less the quick downfall of theatre arts in America and more the annoyance that Broadway is going to remount this show with the same tired cast that is in every production of Grease everywhere at all times. The show is already masogenistic and gross to begin with. "You are Supreme, the chicks will cream...for Grease Lightnin'" not to mention the entire moral of the story which is "If your man is embarassed of you being who you are...CHANGE!" I mean, at the end they fly away into the sky in a car. Frankie Avalon (who I've worked with twice in my life...he's a very little and cranky man...but I did get a picture of him holding hands with my mom who was giggling like a bobby-sock teen ager) was in the movie singing about shampoo. So, I'd like to see a little more tongue-in-cheek version of this show. Or at least a different looking Sandy and Danny. We no longer live in a world where the football star and the cheerleader are the most popular kids in school. I mean, I know Grease is the fifties and I know Grease is the word...but if I wanted to see a copy of the movie...I would just watch the movie. Especially cause I really like the part where "not-gay" John Travolta points his fingers and sings really high at the end of Summer Nights. So I would like to see a fat Sandy or a black Danny or a wheelchair Rizzo or whatever. Spice it up.

I have had the song "Hopelessly devoted to you" stuck in my head for a few days now. I sing it about everything. I sing it to Lucy, I sing it to Erik, I sang it to a handful of chips I ate yesterday. Maybe I should have auditioned, I totally could have been Sandy. And you all know what a great dancer I am. And by great I mean interesting, and by interesting I mean "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES".

So, in conclusion (have you ever noticed how "in conclusion" sounds like "inconclusion"?) it is my opinion that the reality show "Grease: You're the one that I Want" is not stealing the art out of theatre. It is manufacturing stars just like American Idol and So you think You Can Dance is doing. And since they are just going to Broadway which is pretty lame these days anyway, I say "Let them go". I would be more offended as a theatre person I think if it was an audition for some no budget black box show in Chicago. Although if this show is successful I would like them to mix it up a little next year. I mean, as people in theatre it's a little hard to fight the idea that all we do is sit around at video bars sipping pink slushies and singing showtunes. I don't even know where people get that idea. Anyone up for Trax Monday? Lol.

Ok, Grease is the word. Your thoughts?