Waking Up

I've been having some colorful dreams lately.

I shouldn't say "dreams" when in reality it's more like, "confusing awakenings". I find that my mind and body have always been on different schedules and don't always wake up at the same time so my morning often involve a lot of confusing thoughts like:

"What is that thing on my chest?" "Oh, it's a Cat." "Oh, it's my cat" "That's Lucy" And we're awake.

"Why am I hanging upside down?" "Oh, I'm not, I'm laying upside down" "No, I'm just laying" "I'm laying in bed" And we're awake.

But lately these early morning confusions have just become a bit more...confusing.

"Why are there so many dismembered body parts in this bed with me" "No, just a dismembered leg" "No, that's my leg and it's attached" "No, you watched a lot of Dexter last night and you are remembering that" And...awake.

Monday morning was a bit more unique, I woke up in a panic...very concerned about Helen Keller. "She can't SEE or HEAR! How does she know she's alive? Wait, she's not alive! Did she die from deafness or blindness or sadness? How does she comprehend? What is her world like? She must be screaming on the inside! Someone help her! Am I Helen Keller? Have I gone deaf and blind?"

That confusion lasted a long time, here's why. I think sometimes my brain wakes up before my body and then panics that I've been injured. It happens kind of a lot. Seconds later my eyes open and I realize everything is fine.

Tuesday brought this wake up thought line: If I were on a bus with two other people and we all had packs of cigarettes and then we got stuck on the bus forever, would I suggest we pool the cigarettes and split them evenly or that we each keep our own and when you are out you're out? I had the shocking realization about myself (the most truthful and shocking realizations come in the morning) that if I had less cigarettes than everyone else I would suggest pooling them, and if I had more I would suggest keeping our own. I then wondered if that way of thinking made me a communist or a capitalist or just someone really in need of the patch.

The worst is when you take a nap, because that confusion is like no other. I took a nap the other night and woke up at 8 thinking I'd overslept for work and then wondering why it was so dark out...that took more than a few minutes to understand.

I have some very cool from the soul dreams sometimes. I've spoken to dead relatives and had people appear telling me things I should change or do or remember in the future. One time I had a dream that I was walking through a misty forest. It was a very dreamy dream-like dream, not usual for me. I came across a wizard stirring a pot. "You can ask any question in the whole entire world...just one...and I will give you the absolute truthful answer" I remember vividly being so nervous about what to ask. Also I remember feeling aware that this was someone speaking to me in a dream, that this was precious. So I looked at the wizard and I said very seriously, "My question is...Are Michael Jackson and LaToya Jackson the same person?" The wizard said "Is that really your question?" "Yes, that's it." And then he stirred the pot and looked at me and smiled saying, "No...Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson are the same person." Wow, good job dream-Brooke.

I'm a bright person, but the transition from asleep to awake is often startling. Sometimes though it's really annoying when you wake up right in the middle of a great dream. "Go back go back!" but you can never get quite back into it can you? Dismembered body parts in my bed, that goes on for an eternity, holding hands with Colin Firth on a gondola...gone like that. Oh well.