Fraud Alert

So, I had this voicemail yesterday morning from my bank saying that I needed to call them right away, that there was a fraud alert on my account. I checked my account online and indeed, someone has been taking money, in tiny little increments, out of my account for the last few weeks. Yesterday I guess they went for the prize.

"Ma'am, did you try to purchase a computer this morning?"

"No."

"You weren't at the ??? computer store early this morning?"

"No, I don't even know where that is."

"It's in China, ma'am."

No, I was not in China yesterday morning at a computer store. Unless I was sleep-international-flying again.

The woman on the phone helped with everything. Although she was a little judgey and there was some embarrassment involved. 

"Looks like someone has also been using your card a lot at Dunkin Donuts, I can remove those as well..."

"Uh, that was me. It's by my work. I DON'T GET DONUTS, I get coffee and bagels."

"I see."

"And so then all these pizza and Old Navy charges are you as well?"

Busted.

A few minutes later I went to my actual bank to deposit a check and was attacked as soon as I walked in the door. 

"HELLO MA'AM! WELCOME TO _____! HOW CAN WE HELP YOU TODAY?"

"Um, I just want to deposit this check..."

I casually mentioned the Chinese bank fraud and I was suddenly treated like a woman who had escaped a house on fire.

"That is horrible, we are so sorry. Do you need anything? Water? Air? A brochure about our new savings program?"

They were pretty smooth. The banker talked my ear off while keeping one hand on the keyboard, signing me up for who knows what? In the end though, everything was straightened out and I should be having no more trouble from China.

And I know that I have a friend at the bank who is THERE TO HELP ME no matter what. I can't wait to go in next week and sit in his chair and say, "I've been feeling kind of out of whack lately" and then tell him about my childhood and life. He was a really good listener and it would only cost me enrollment in a few new bank programs...