When I was a little girl I used to have slumber parties and we would stay up really late screaming with laughter. My mom would eventually come in and yell at us until we quieted down. 

When I was in high school I would go to my mom's house in Chicago for the summer and invite a bunch of friends over and we would sit in the back yard all night drinking and talking and partying and listening to music. Eventually someone would open their window and tell us to shut up. (Strangely, not usually my parents.)

When I was in college I remember being at my friend Charlie's apartment one night and we were singing along at the top of our lungs to the Cranberries (wild!) until we heard a knock on the door from the downstairs neighbor, she had come to tell us to shut up. 

When I moved to Chicago I thought it would be hilarious to host a party called "Teeny Weeny Martini Party" each year where I would cram all of my friends into my tiny apartment and we would make a lot of noise and drink giant pink cosmos. I would eventually hear the stomping of my upstairs neighbors foot. 

Just two summers ago I found myself hosting all kinds of strange parties at all hours of the night, all summer long. With the windows open.

So maybe it's karma. 

Maybe it's some type of cosmic revenge. 

I don't know. But I do know that if these downstairs neighbors don't shut the singalong party down in the next three minutes I'm going to call the damn cops. Remember? I told you about these neighbors. The ones that had the nineties singalong that I thought was sort of adorable until they started having singalongs every night. Tonight...I'm not kidding...tonight they had a BULLHORN and they were singing into the bullhorn. 

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the universe for any obnoxious and loud parties I may have hosted or been a part of in the past. Now please, please, please make these drunk chicks downstairs shut the F up.