My birthday used to be something I looked at the way a puppy who has to pee looks out the window. I would classify that as PAINFUL ANTICIPATION. I remember when each year was a landmark event, "I'm ten! That's double digits!" "I'm eleven! That's my golden birthday!" I'm thirteen! That's a teenager!" "I'm 18! That's an adult!" "I'm 25! That's ACTUALLY an adult!"
Now I'm 28 and you know what? I'm good here. This is fine. Because I'm standing on the front steps of the haunted house that is my 29th birthday and I'll tell you, I'm not dying to get in.
Now, I know that everyone older than me is saying, "Oh please, you are still so young, thirty is the new twenty! The best years are still ahead of you! You look so cute in that sweater!" but please try to remember, older people, what it was like for you. Somehow, 29 seems a little more frightening than 30. The fear is...it's...well here are some analogies:
If 30 is a roller coaster, 29 is the line.
If 30 is jumping out of an airplane, 29 is the flight up.
If 30 is a fabulous looking drag queen, 29 is the duct tape.
There are some things I will need to start doing in 29 that I have been too afraid to do before. Such as:
1. Pay bills on time and regularly.
2. Eat vegetables.
3. Go on dates.
4. Wash dishes instead of throwing dirty ones in the trash.
5. Save money.
Sigh. So there it is.
I just don't like being an odd number age. It never really works out that well. I'm going to distract myself with the thought of presents. Oh, I already feel so much calmer. In terms of presents though, the only thing I want is a Mac Notebook. It's $1200 which I think I am worth. Since my computer full out died last night a computer has become slightly more of a priority. So everyone please buy me a Mac Notebook. If you don't want to give me a Mac Notebook I will also accept yarn and Walgreens/Target giftcards. If you don't want to get me those things I will accept coffees and hugs. If you don't want to get me those things, then you are kind of cheap.
Bring it on Birthday, bring it on.
1 comment:
I heart 29. And you know what? I can't wait to be thirty, because, frankly, I'm f-ing done with my twenties (though this return to student status might give the appearance of trying to hold on to the last futile threads of young adulthood). I kinda feel about my twenties the way a lot of people feel about high school or college...good times, learned a lot, glad they existed, WOULDN'T GO BACK IF YOU PAID ME.
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