All high rise buildings in Chicago are required to assign a FLOOR WARDEN in case of fire, bomb threat, mass evacuation or severe weather. This person serves as the responsible party accounting for all employees of a particular floor. In other words, this person agrees to be the last one to bite it.
The respobsibilities of the FLOOR WARDEN are detailed and many, the person must be of strong will and character and also must have the cubicle with the closest proximity to the door. In case of sudden emergency this person must stop as terrified employees race for the door and put on FLOOR WARDEN hat, vest, and whistle. FW must also find flashlight.
Technically Allen is not required to wear the FW gear unless there is an emergency, but ever the over-achiever, she likes to feel prepared at all times. Allen has decided to wear the gear while working, during staff meetings and during staff birthday lunches in the conference room. The only time she will remove her FW gear is while passing by other floors of the building so as not to confuse herself with the other FW's.
Highly intensive CD-ROM training will commence tomorrow AM. The most important thing to learn while training for FW duties is not to shove everyone else down the stairs and run for your life.
"All right everyone, this is the big one. This is not a drill! I repeat, this is NOT a drill!"
There's a new Sheriff in town.
"Line up and follow me, I'll try to find us a way out of here."
Allen attends a fundraising meeting, still prepared for the slightest danger.
"Down the hall and to the left!!! And BE WARNED you will need to jiggle the handle!!"
Seriously...my coworker who is moving who's desk I'm taking walked up to my desk and handed me a bag full of FLOOR WARDEN and said "I guess this is yours now" and hilarity ensued. I had never even heard of this but then Derek told me all floors of all downtown high rises have them. Are any of you FLOOR WARDENS? Is there a union? After laughing for a solid half hour I just dried my happy laughy teary eyes and sighed "I love the shit that happens to me so much."
NOW! Line up single file and walk calmly to the fire escape! I will be there in a few minutes after I recharge these batteries and find my hat and...gasp...get my vest on...gasp...save...yourselves..."
PS: Wow, in these pictures don't I look about 4.2 pounds lighter? Must be the lens.
6 comments:
You ain't right... you just ain't right...
And when I read, "Nope, didn't finish those reports, sorry. I was too busy SAVING YOUR LIFE," I peed a little.
um. i love you. i'm also jealous of your hat.
I'm a floor warden too!!! We really should form a union.
so like you're too scared to surf the internet and IM at work, but not too scared to flaunt your power as FW?
straight to your head, i tells ya.
I earned to be back in Chicago for the first time today, just so it might have been possible for me to bask in the reflected glory of the FLOOR WARDEN.
I'm on the "Safety Committee" at work. I was assigned to this committee. And we've never had a meeting. All I know is when the alarm goes off I am to put on this red baseball hat that says "SAFETY" in white letters. Not sure what I'm supposed to do next. Run to safety, probably. Right?
Post a Comment