Men and Ladies

I got this forward today and I thought I would share it. We need to break this down a little bit, but to be fair, I don't necessarily disagree with all of it. Everything in BLUE was written by whoever wrote this forward, everything in PINK was written by me. I would like to know how many male readers agree with this male, and how many female readers agree with me. Here we go.

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

OK, clearly this guy is a little bit of a tool. Moving on...

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

I've heard this enough times, that I guess it must be true. Point 1 to the men.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

No...here's why. If the seat is up and we are not paying attention...we fall in...it's a dangerous risk. Also, the more and more layers you lift on the toilet seats, the grosser it is. I say everyone should put the lid down as often as possible. But if it's between seat up and seat down...seat down. Point 1 to the ladies.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Well, if we are in a relationship and Sunday is just as much my weekend as it yours and you are A-Hogging th TV and B-Not paying any attention to me on your day off...I'm gonna get psalty. However, I have shows that need to be watched at certain times religiously...so...this one is a draw. Men, the sports are yours, but for a reasonable amount of time...ladies, leave the men alone for a while, but don't feel like you can never ask for ANY time on Sundays. Fair?

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Agreed. Point 1 men. Ladies, this is what girls and gays are for, let the straight men be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

That is bullshit. despite what you may believe, we do not ENJOY crying and turning into blubbering idiots. You really do just make us THAT sad sometimes. Point 1 ladies.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Fair enough, point 1 men. But then when we are straightforward, please avoid words like "aggressive, bitch, spoiled, and ball-buster"


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Fair Enough. Point 1 Men. However, YES and NO are not acceptable answers to conversation opening questions.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Hmm, I don't know that men really feel this way do they? I get sympathy from my male friends when I'm having a problem. Granted, it's not as in depth. And it's true that women hate it when men say, "I don't understand what you want me to do about this"...but c'mon men, you arn't stone cold assholes...this question is null and void.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Look Fellas, if your lady has a headache for 17 months...she doesn't have a problem, you do. Point 1 ladies.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

Really?Seems like a cop out to me. Point 1 ladies.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Hmm, fair enough. Although as much as I don't want to squeeze myself into Heidi Klum Lingerie, I also don't want you to act like Bo Brady anyway. So this question is null and void.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Honestly, fair enough. Instead we should just say "tell me I'm not fat". Point 1 men.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Yep, that's fair. Point 1 men.


1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Wah Wah Wah. Point 1 ladies just cause.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Fine, agreed. but that goes ditto for you...just cause you THINK Sex And The City is lame...does not make it so.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Great, so you are going to land us in the wrong place and then pretend like it was the place you were looking for? Point 2 ladies, cause we just don't get it. JUST ASK SO WE CAN GET THERE, ALREADY!!!!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Top Secret: Neither do we. Point 1 men


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

Yeah, no. Point 1 ladies.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Fair enough. Point 1 men.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Fair enough...point 1 men.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

You don't care what we're wearing? But we're wearing it for you...yeah, ok, point 1 men.

1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

That was asinine. "ME CAVEMAN, ME SPEAR BIG DINOSAUR". Don't sell yourself short guys, we know you actually think....you can't fool us. Point 1 ladies.

1. You have enough clothes.

But not the right ones, and everyone has already seen me in them. Point 1 ladies.

1. You have too many shoes.

No, I have five pairs of shoes, that is not a lot. I hate shoes. Point 1 men.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Agreed! Point 1 men!